Look who’s crazy now

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They say that if you want to achieve something you have to make a plan but until you have an actual map outlining how to reach your goals, they are merely your dreams and aspirations.

Today I’m going to outline how to achieve my one year goals. The first step is to make them realistic. They need to be attainable. I don’t want to stretch myself too thin because that will inevitably lead to me throwing in the towel before I break ground. This I know.
The hardest thing?


Just fucking start.

I put so much pressure on the end result of… well, everything. My friends think I am absolutely ridiculous because I’m always planning things down to the smallest detail, lengths in advance. I can’t help it. It’s an anxiety thing. I think I need to have everything figured out at that very moment. I need to think of every possible scenario on how it may play out. I need to worry about what x, y and z will do/say, and all the ways I can fail. This is me. This is unavoidable. So I’m just going to start. This is me starting. This is huge. I’ve been so down. SO down. I haven’t felt this inspired in awhile and I’m not really sure what it is but I’m going to run with it as long as I can. All of this is incredibly new for me. I realize that I will learn along the way and my ideas will shift, grow, improve, crash and everything in between. This is important to know. When you anticipate obstacles and even failure you’ll be able to keep on keeping on. Failure, although it sucks, is what makes the victory so sweet.

Tip: Instead of saying “I don’t have enough time” try saying “it’s not a priority”. I guarantee it’ll help

I have a bad habit of starting something and not finishing it. Seriously, you should see how many posts I have sitting in drafts right now. I battle with anxiety and depression and it often make tasks incredibly overwhelming. While my intentions at this moment in time may be amazing, I have days where I am incredibly low. I mean the days where I can’t get out of bed and end up binge watching Netflix, or 1000’s of calories while completely letting my hygiene go by the way side. It’s bad. It’s really bad. I’m aware of it. I know it’s happening. I just can’t get out of it. I wish I could explain it, I really do. Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is my attempt at pulling myself out of it. By putting it out there, and holding myself accountable, I mean really accountable, I can find a purpose and move forward. I need a purpose. I need to work towards my goals and aspirations. I need to show people that I can move forward despite my setbacks and that I can come back stronger and smarter than before.

I am not my illness; I am not depression, I am not anxiety, and I am anything but weak. My illness does not define me. I will not go down without a fight.

I will continue to build my blog and tirelessly pursue this life, a life where I help others. I want to live a life of happiness, a life of adventure. I want to show you that you can be yourself wholeheartedly and that the best version of you is YOU. Don’t conform, don’t fold your hand and don’t listen to all the shit talk. Do you and don’t let anyone stop you. Unless of course you’re planning on killing someone or robbing a bank. Don’t do that. Definitely don’t do that. Look what I’m trying to say here is, if you want something, I mean, really want something, you must work for it. Don’t wait. Work towards it every day. Success isn’t owned, its borrowed. Its borrowed and those who have it work for it every day of their lives.

I have been struggling for the past two years with my career path. I’ve spent more time unemployed, depressed and anxiety ridden than I have employed, happy and pursuing my dreams. I spent a lot of time getting knocked the fuck down being told I wasn’t good enough and you know what? Over time, I believed them. I started thinking that I wasn’t good enough. I figured, they’re right. After all, they would know. How ridiculous is that? Who am I to let someone else make me feel as if I’m not good enough.

If you’ve ever made anyone feel as if they’re not good enough I have a few words for you: You’re a piece of shit. Okay I realize we’ve all done it and it comes off sounding terribly harsh but I’m at a place in my life where I see how damaging and awful that is. I’ve seen how it can hold someone back. Shit, I’ve dealt with it first hand. Now I know. I know how important it is to let someone dream. To encourage people and build them up rather than knock them down.

Inspiring people will take them a lot further than criticizing ever will. That’s a fact and you can take it straight to the bank. Build someone up instead of knocking them down and my god, you’ll be amazed at what they can accomplish.

They say if you want to achieve something you need to make a plan. I always wondered who “they” really were. Now I know. They’re the ones that don’t give up. The ones that don’t care what they’re told. The ones that bust their ass every single day until they get what they want. They’re the underdogs. The ones that have been told they’re not good enough. They are the strongest people in the world because they aren’t afraid of failure and struggle. They’ve been there and done that and it inspires them, in fact, they thrive off it! They know that shit’s going to go wrong, its inevitable but its all about working through it, in spite of it. They know that in order to get to where they’re meant to be they need to go through the highs but, more importantly, the lows and that everything that’s happening in their life is pushing them to where they’re meant to be. You will receive skepticism. You will receive an ignorant tirade of advice on how you should be realistic. You’ll be told to stop dreaming. Don’t. Don’t ever stop dreaming. Pursue every idea you have no matter how ridiculous people may think you are.

Don’t listen to the opinions of others. Trust yourself. Be a misfit. Be different. Refuse to give up. Refuse to conform. Refuse to settle. Be fucking amazing!

And never, ever, stop pursuing your dreams. A man once thought we should sell bottled water and everyone thought he was crazy… look who’s crazy now.


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