What if I told you I’m overweight?

What if I told you I’m 20lbs overweight. Would you believe me?

According to Canada’s Body Mass Index calculator I am not in the weight range I should be for my height. The healthy range for a woman of my stature (5′) is between.. wait for it.. 98-128lbs. How much do I weigh? 147lbs. And two years ago I was 208lbs. 

Does this bother me? Yes. Am I healthy? Yes. Am I happy? You can bet your ass I am.

 Throughout my weight loss journey I was asked a wide array of questions but the number one question I received was:

“What’s your goal weight?”

In my mind 120lbs sounded like the perfect number but I never did share this with anyone. I would respond with I don’t know. Because I really didn’t. You see overtime my weight loss journey changed my whole perception on life. I’m not concerned about the number I see on the scale, I’m concerned about my wellbeing. My happiness. 

People tend to assume a weighloss transformation is purely based on physical abilities or lack thereof. Sure it takes physical strength but even more so it requires emotional strength. I used to think once I was thin I would be happy. My life would be perfect and all of my problems would disappear. What’s worse? I’m not the only one to feel that way. 

Problems don’t go away when you one day achieve a certain weight on the scale and happiness doesn’t suddenly appear. Guys, I spent so much time thinking I would be happier if I was thin. I would be well-liked if I was pretty etc.. the irony? This way of thinking is what held me back for so long. Look at it like this: if I want to be happy I should be fuckin happy. I won’t be happy if I’m thin. I’ll be happy because I am. Because I look at the brighter side of life. Because the sun is shining. Because life is short and it only seems long. It sounds fuckin cheesy, I know. But what good has overthinking done anyone? Nothing. What’s achieved when you learn to enjoy your life in the moment? Happiness. 

So now when I’m asked what my goal weight is I respond with one word: happiness 

I know, I know. You’re shaking your head thinking “But Lindsay, How we do attach a number to that?” I’ll tell you. We don’t. We measure it by how we feel, what we wear and how we start to carry ourselves. Call it an epiphany, a shift in mindset, whatever you like. 



It saved my life. 

When you spend most of your life overweight your perception on reality becomes blurred. You believe all the awful things said about you. You believe the media when they say you’re not attractive and each negative comment left scars you cannot see. Men and women treated me as if I wasn’t good enough and only now, after all these years, have I stopped listening to them.

All I wanted growing up was to be beautiful. To have someone tell me I’m pretty and give me a little attention and affection. Seeking it became an addiction because it seemed so unattainable. So I grabbed it whenever I could. There’s truth in the saying “we accept the love we think we deserve”. This is what society lead me to believe I deserved. Second best. Whatever I can get. And I better be happy with it because I’m lucky to get even that. 

If I told you I was overweight you wouldn’t believe me and you’d tell me not to say that. But dare I tell you I’m intelligent, beautiful, kind hearted, thin, honest, confident and hilarious. You’d focus on the fact that I said I’m thin and think to yourself “Well she’s not that thin.”

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Never conform

Alright people we’re a 3rd of the way through 2017, let’s try and educate ourselves on sexism. Quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. As humans we just ask to be treated equally.

You know those posts on Facebook you try to scroll past, but can’t help reading through the garbage fire? The ones that are so ridiculous you almost think it has to be there as click bait. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. The small minded posts that are most commonly shared by small town friends who never grew up after high school.

Know this: I never feed into this shit. I like to think I have better things to do with my time than argue on the internet. But on Sunday morning, I did just that. Hear me out: only because this post is part of a much larger issue at hand.

Alright ladies were a 3rd of the way through 2017, let’s put the “duck face” and sharpie markers behind us, frankly I’m gonna say it, it’s not a good look and as a human we prefer a smile and less paint, not hatin just lookin out for my beauties

Woooow,” was my first thought as I continued scrolling. Five minutes later, I was still angry over what I read and scrolled back up. I respond mimicking the original post to show the irony:

Alright gentleman we’re a 3rd of the way through 2017, let’s retire the idea that women wear makeup for the sole purpose of appealing to men. It’s not a good look and as humans we prefer you keep your opinions to yourself

Why did I say this? Why was I so angry? Why was his post so toxic? I’ll tell you. He singled our gender out without reflecting on his own. He decided to collectively voice what he thought was everyone’s opinion without understanding how much of a walking contradiction he was. He decided he knew better than women.

Both men and women have been photographed with a duck face so why single out one gender? You will find women AND men wear makeup for many different reasons. Is appealing to men on that list? Perhaps. Should that automatically open up the door for your criticism and an urgency to stop because it’s not what turns you on? No. Absolutely not. Just because one individual isn’t attracted to that person or a certain trend, doesn’t mean someone else won’t be.

Would you tell a fat person, “I’m sorry, it’s not a good look. We as humans prefer someone small?

You wouldn’t; at least you shouldn’t. Because it’s rude. Understand, I’ve spent so much time hating the way I looked because I listened to others more than myself. If a man told me I wasn’t ‘a good look’, I believed them. Over time, that warped my perception. I thought that was all that mattered. I thought until I conformed to other people’s standards, I would never be beautiful, I would never be loved, and I would never be happy. Words are crippling and we throw them around so carelessly.

I sit here, urging you, to never conform to another person’s beauty standards. Do You Hear Me?

I wanted to tell this man, this man who thought his opinion was the be-all-end-all, that makeup is a form of self expression. It is self confidence, a lack of confidence and more. And you know what? We all have to start somewhere. I wonder, would you walk into the gym and shit on someone who was 300lbs lifting weights? No. Because they’re there trying to better themselves. So maybe we’re trying to better ourselves, maybe we’re a beginner, maybe we’re just trying something out. Regardless, nobody has the right to tell us to stop. Especially a man. We are much more than the makeup we wear and we’re not here just to be admired. We’re not an ornament you hang on your tree. We’re humans.

Alright people we’re a 3rd of the way through 2017, let’s try and educate ourselves on sexism. Quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. As humans we just ask to be treated equally.